This is the Archer home and this is the evening hour.
The day's work is over.
It's a time for peace and quiet, relaxation and ease.
Shall we go in?
Shall we go in?
I'm.
Going to. If you are inviting people over
this evening it would have been nice if you give me
a little more notice. Of my dear nothing needs to be done the house was lovely.
Yes I'm Samson the former oh yes those leaky pipes will go right through the house.
The entrance to the basement is in the hall closet.
How I can do right. Would you take a small piece of advice or certainly needs more
tomatoes. For
a home I probably have to shut the water on and also don't work you without any
water for a little while all right but I hope you're through by noon this is the
first Saturday afternoon my husband is had off in weeks and he'll probably want to
water the lawn I know what I'm talking about Mrs Archer I was raised on this
stuff put in another to me. What's
wrong. Nothing nothing at all sure you don't want to tell me about it there's
nothing to tell mom anyway I don't want to talk about. You know something I've
discovered callous what I want a person has something on his mind the best thing
you can do is bring it right out in the open you really think so I'm sure of it
that's the way good relationships are built on openness and honesty any
relationship between mother and daughter or two friends or husband and wife
whenever anyone has anything on their mind or a complaint to make they should
come right out maybe you're right. I think so. I
guess you are right even if a girl is your best friend you should tell her about
her father that's right sure. Of course you may never speak to each other again
but you'll be better friends. Well that isn't exactly what I meant anyway I'm
absolutely furious with Melvin you should have seen the dress she was wearing to
Betty's party last night she looked positively atrocious and never seen
anybody in anything more unbecoming she should never have worn it and I'm
absolutely furious with. My call because it was the exact duplicate of the dress
I was wearing. Anyway I'll talk to her about it making stew for dinner.
Mm hmm. Delicious
but I think it needs a little more tomato. Yes Dexter.
To get the record sure when you hear it will soon be good I love it I'm
a soldier. Right
it doesn't need another tomato. I
knew it my very favorite homemade tomato soup. He's a little more tomato though. I
thought we were dancing. Oh sure.
Come on. Oh
what's wrong. Oh what's not.
Don't you please tell me what's wrong. Well all right Dexter yes I will tell you
what's wrong mom says when you've got something on your mind you should say it I
don't have anything on my mind. Well I have you've got something on my mind.
That's what I'm trying to improve our relationship. Now listen I like the way
you've been treating me lately you've been taking me for granted you don't do
any of the sweet little things you used to do you treat me with callous disregard
well holy cow callous I'm sorry I didn't mean to treat you for granted and I'm
sorry about the sweet little things I used to do and believe me I wouldn't
disregard your calluses. What I mean to say is I'm crazy about your callous and
if you want me to change I will really dig sure. See our
relationships better already mom was right but if you have any criticism of me
I want you to say it callous you're perfect. Nobody's perfect or you are
oh I am not there must be one teensy weensy little thing I do wrong and I want
you to tell me about it now think hard. Well once in
a great way you're a teeny little bit of reason. Well that's the way you feel
about. The.
Good. Well. We're going to go.
Next to my. May I come in please.
Thank you. Things
are going to be very different for Dexter with callous angry at him when things are
lovey dovey he's half out of this world with a silly smile on his face hardly
knowing what's going on. I guess things aren't going to be different.
Well it just told me that she's never going to speak to Dexter again as long as
they both should live maybe I shouldn't have given her that advice this morning
nonsense it was excellent advice. Still need a little more to make them.
Around here for a snack. Thank
you people should discuss their shortcomings openly. They're intelligent.
Enough. The ability to accept criticism is
a vital factor in any good relationship and good night.
For two people to please each other they did each one must find what quality
displeases the other and then correct it. You know some jelly would go over this.
But that's that's the basis for a partnership and any good relation just as
a partnership. You know share and share alike each helping the other.
And. You know. Well now you take us.
I think we've got a pretty good marriage and why because neither one tries to take
advantage of the other no one tries to be boss doesn't try to tell the other what
to do.
And. There's some cheese. Well
on a basis like that. We respect each other we respect each other's opinions and
we can be frank and criticism. Challenge you know something. I can't find anything
about my wife to. And now if I can have something to drink I'll be all
set. Now I've given you my
frank opinion. I think my husband is the most wonderful guy in the world.
But.
The judge you're going to say something. Well it's just that. Well it seems that
lately you've had a tendency to forget the little things they say you know.
I see well it's just that you started taking me for granted I guess.
Oh Harry I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't hurt my feelings but don't be silly
don't you think I have enough intelligence to be able to accept a little honest
criticism hurt me but that's silly. Well.
I. Want to go to eat. All right.
I.
Mr Archer. How is Coral. She's all right.
Do you think she suffered long enough how long have you two been going together
about ten years she suffered long enough. This year.
You know Mr Archer Carlos and I haven't even talked to each other for a whole hour
and a half. I know she's miserable and there and I know she wants to apologize to
me because she knows she's wrong so I'm going to make it easy for her how I
apologize to her. Wait a minute next year Mr Archer calls is in there getting
unhappy and unhappy and I understand all that she's very high strung she might do
something desperate something we both might regret as long as we live something
like getting a date with another fellow. Listen Dexter.
Thank you. Don't mention it Mr Archer.
So I made extra I made. What we got to say before. Oh about apologizing to
Carlos for something that she did wrong now there's an element of human
relationship here. Oh don't talk to me about relationships Mr Archer it was
Mrs Archer's theory about relationships that got me into all this trouble as I
know I'm surprised that Mrs Archer I always thought she was so smart. My wife
is a very bright woman and you agree with what she said yes but there's another
principle involved here that is that since the dawn of time there's been
domination by the stronger sex. You mean women? Men any competent psychologist
will tell you that when a woman dominates a man she is very unhappy. No
kidding. No kidding. Why my mother must be miserable.
Look next Mrs Archer and I just had a little well go ahead and I'm
misunderstanding nothing serious of course but the point is you don't see me
running in there to apologize. Well maybe you're right. Okay I'll just let
Carlos wait. Even though I know she's unhappy and lonesome and miserable. Was that a funny story? I never heard anything so funny.
Just wait till they find out how miserable they are. Well it looks like war
between the men and the women and I think that's a shame. I believe that a
man and a woman can go through their whole lives with no arguments. That is of
course unless they know each other.
Mr Archer when are we gonna go home we've been bowling here for hours. Dexter I've
been through this before it's not time yet. Why don't you have another bottle of
soft drink. I think I better not Mr. Archer. Well when are we going home? Well
all in good time Dexter. Holy cow doesn't this affect you at all? Not a bit. I'm not an
emotional man. I know exactly what I'm doing.
For a minute I thought you're gonna throw in the towel. I'm not going to throw in
the towel Dexter. No. Let's forget about the women and concentrate on bowling. I'll
bet you they knew we were on the porch all the time. I'll bet they did too. Now
let's not talk about it anymore. All I want to do is bowl. I just as soon forget
about the whole thing and go home. Dexter. That's a defeatist attitude. I'm surprised
at you. I'm not I knew all along I was gonna give in. Now take your turn it'll
get your mind off your troubles. Well okay. Which ball have I been using? This.
Put some powder in the hole so it won't slip. Dexter that's too much powder you better
get some of that. Holy cow Mr. Archer I really am sorry. Take your turn. Yes sir.
Mr. Archer I'm sorry but I'm so tired can't we just go home. Bowl. This is the way you
hold out. Well Mr. Archer I was thinking about what you said about the
domination of the sexes but what are the only opposite sex we've gotten. Carlos is
the only girlfriend I got if I lose her where am I gonna get another one because
I oop's at her his颠. That's right. I'll have
Oh, Carlos!
Dexter!
Oh, Carlos, I'm sorry.
Please say, forgive me, please say I can't leave you.
When you're right, I'm wrong, and I know you're right, and I'll never argue again.
What's wrong?
Holy cow, I've got to call the Coast Guard.
There's a submarine loose in your backyard.
Janet.
Yes, dear?
Candy and flowers. Oh, Harry, how sweet.
They're carrying on in every room.
Mr. Sampson, this is my husband, Mr. Archer.
How do you do?
Haven't I seen your face someplace before?
Could be, it's a small world.
I do appreciate these, Harry.
Oh, I just happened to pick them up.
You can say that again.
You know, that's positive, I've seen your face before.
Well, I got one of those kind of faces you think you see at every window.
Oh, well, here, have a piece of candy.
Well, would you like to know how this happened?
Yes, I imagine it would be interesting.
Yes.
Yes?
Uh.
What's the trouble?
I'm trying to think of something.
I was trying to think of something to give you a laugh.
That was here to laugh.
That's why I got the flowers and the candy.
Well, what I was getting at was that tonight you and I are going out on the town.
We are?
Uh-huh.
Janet, I thought perhaps you were right, that I have been neglecting the little things
and maybe I've been taking you too much for granted.
So tonight we're going to the Martinique.
Oh, Harry, how nice.
Cornish, you'll never guess who your father is taking me tonight.
The Martinique.
Oh, golly, Mom, that's wonderful.
Where did you get that?
Yes, we're going to the Martinique and we're going to have a wonderful time.
Yeah, but what about the-
And I think we should all have a wonderful time and it would be nice if Cornish and Dexter came with us.
Oh, Daddy, isn't that wonderful, Daddy?
Yeah, but what about the-
I'm sure that you want to go to the Martinique, don't you?
Well, then there isn't really anything more to say, is there?
Well, as the monkey said when he backed into the electric van, that was a close shave.
But everything came out all right in the end.
Your menu, sir.
Thank you.
Ma'am, Ma'am, sir, I'll be back for the rotas later.
Hmm, fried chicken, $7.50.
Lamb chops, $10.75.
Filet mignon, wow.
We came here to have fun, not worry about price.
Wow.
Now, but everyone ordered just exactly what they wanted.
After all, have you decided on your order?
Don't worry about the prices, just order what you want.
Well, I'll have shrimp cocktail, fried chicken, salad, and ice cream.
And I'll have the same.
Me too, only instead of fried chicken, I'll have filet mignon.
And what will you have, sir?
Uh, no sale.
I mean, a glass of water.
Mrs. Archer, would you care to, uh-
Oh, go ahead, Ma'am.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Shall we dance?
Thank you.
Oh my goodness, Harry, you and I haven't danced together for ever so long. This should be fun.
Well, I'm still pretty light in my feet, aren't I?
Harry, these are my feet you're dancing on.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Please, please, Maris, you can't dance now.
Why not?
The floor show is going on.
No, we came here to dance, we're going to dance. Come on, Coyote, let's dance.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
You are creating a disturbance.
Okay, then you leave. Right, Mr. Archer?
Yeah, right.
Right.
We'll leave.
So long, Janet.
As Mr. Archer now realizes, when you step into a nightclub, you can get in pretty deep.
Lord was right when he said that nightclubs are a place to frolic, but they cause financial collage.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Thanks, dear. What's the trouble?
Harry.
What?
But...
Come on, Harry.
Oh.
Good night, Dexter.
Good night.
Carlos, how about a...
You know.
Good night, kid.
Yeah.
Well...
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Dexter.
Hmm?
You're supposed to close your eyes when you kiss a girl good night.
Oh, not me.
Why not?
You see how much fun I'm having.
Oh, that's true.
I'm really hungry now.
Oh, almost ready.
Janet.
Yes, dear?
What about tonight?
I'm sorry.
It wasn't wholeheartedly...
No, no.
I had a good time.
And the important thing is you made the gesture.
Holy cow, they still smooch.
Anyone for steel?
Me.
Oh, me too.
Count me in.
And me.
I can't go home until I see if it has enough tomatoes.
Hello, I'm home.
I'm in here, Harry.
Hello, dear.
Hello, dear.
I hope you don't mind.
I asked Don Blanchett over for dinner.
Perfectly all right.
Well, things are back to normal.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
I'm glad you're home.
Things are back to normal.
Yes, things are back to normal.
And you know, something?
Hm?